1) Divorce is a powerful invalidator. "You failed at the most important relationship you had on earth." I've spoken with several divorced people about their struggle to not feel accused like this by the rest of us in churches. At Christmas, some say, it's worse. Depending on how fresh the wounds of divorce are, non-divorced people would do well to remember that any line they draw between themselves and the divorced is felt much more heavily by the divorced person. One person told me that church is like a monumental reminder "that I don't belong anymore." People of Christ's gospel have no business communicating the same thing Satan does to people. He is the accuser. We don't need to do his job for him. Actually, we need to stop him from doing his job so well in our midst. When we say or hear, "God hates divorce," let's make sure we're not saying or hearing, "God hates you."
2) Divorce is a reminder of reality. We're all broken. Christ was born into a fallen world. He came to heal the sick. Advent isn't a sign that things have gone well on planet Earth. It's a sign that, without God's help in the form of His Son as our Savior, we're really sunk. Faith in Christ doesn't erase our brokenness, it redeems us in spite of it. The Father didn't send Him to show us how to fix ourselves; He sent Him to become broken for us. Unless we are honest and aware of how broken we are, we are blind and deaf to the grace of God in the gospel of Christ.
3) "Divorced" as an identity fades in the light of Christ's Advent. No one wants a permanent label based on his or her struggles or failures in life, unless he or she overcame them. And even then, it's not for everyone. Christ is all about overcoming. Whatever happened to us in life is overshadowed by what happened that first Christmas and first Easter. Whoever we're trying to be mature enough not to blame for all our problems and pain is upstaged by the King of Kings. However we ended up in whatever mess we find ourselves in is only a distraction compared to the eternal plan of God for our salvation in Christ. "Christian" is your identity now. Don't forget it. Don't let others forget it.
PRAYER: Lord, thank You for being with me in life. I pray for all my broken relationships and I pray for those who are struggling with theirs. I know that it's not enough to say that You have a plan for my life. You ARE the plan for my life. As the song says, "God bless the broken road that led me to You." Whoever else is in my life, You ARE my life. Whoever else I love, I love You, Jesus.
TOMORROW: Advent and Suicide
The line about "not belonging anymore" can also go for people like me who've never been married.
ReplyDeleteThe church needs to do a better job with all its single people!
Great blog, as always, Pastor John :-)